Spring Fever

Trigger warning, I will be talking about depression, mental health and suicide in this post.

Winter in NY is long, cold and grey! I am so incredibly excited the days are going to be longer, the air warmer and the grey will be gone before we know it!

I have a long history of depression. I had an amazing childhood living in Illinois, 2 great parents who were always my #1 fans. Unless of course I did something dumb…for the record I had a habit of doing a lot of dumb shit. I’m sure they’d love to tell you some stories 🫣 Sometimes things just don’t communicate correctly in the brain and you’re just not the best version of yourself all the time…for long periods of time. That’s depression in a nutshell, but those who have experienced depression know how awful it can feel sometimes.

Then I moved to NY where the winters are long. So freaking long! The first winter I was here, I swear to you, there was still a ton of snow on the ground in APRIL. I thought it was a joke. This was the first time in my life I ever had a full blown panic attack. I thought I was having a dang heart event. That shit is no joke y’all! In came anti-depressants to the rescue! I tried 7 from 2004-2022 before I found my unicorn. I took a long break several times becuase of the side effects they caused and was in a really bad place for a several periods of time. Thank goodness I was never suicidal but there were (and still sometimes are) days where I can’t seem to get up enough umph to get out of bed. Thankfully, those days are very few and far between.

So what’s the point of all of this? My point is, sometimes medication isn’t for everyone and sometimes it just takes some patience before you find your unicorn. It may be a prescription, maybe therapy, a tincture or some essential oils but there is an answer out there for you. I love you so much! You have people around you that love you and will find it hard to breathe without you around. So instead of thinking the only answer is to leave this beautiful life, contact 988. You can call or text but instead of holding it all in reachout to someone who can help.